Disoriented? (I have moved to a new house as well!)

This window of my browser has been open since before yesterday. But I kept on putting it off. Posting on my blog, that is. But since I'm alone tonight, I guess I feel more at ease to type away.

To put it bluntly I feel silly for feeling the way I am feeling. I’m interested in one of Marina’s friends, even though I am aware that 2 other friends of hers may like me—or so she claims.

Not that there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s just now that she knows I can already feel the pressure. She’s just trying to be helpful when she tells me “Sanji, he’s shy, so if you want to get to know him you gotta be with him and make conversation. “

I noticed he wasn’t the most talkative—but that doesn’t help. Like, if everything depends on my actions I feel like I’m doomed. This is going to take a long time to progress. Simple as that.

Besides I barely got to know him. I met him once, which was when I thought he was cute, then I hadn’t seen him ever since, ‘til today. That is after Adrianna spilled the beans to her in my place. I swear, she did it on her own behalf. I didn’t ask her to.

And I still think he’s soo cute! I was worried I got the wrong impression, which can be my “luck” sometimes when I see some guy from a distance or for the first time. The 1st impression may be refreshing and therefore pleasing, but I can be mistaken when seeing the person for a second time. Like where did I get that idea in my head? How disappointing.

But I was pleasantly surprised to see him today—at the mall with Marina, and Co. (her other friends etc) in addition to Cristina and her little sis being there. What I mean is that I wasn’t bringing my hopes up in to him coming, or him being able to see the movie with us—up to the point where I made an extra effort to get ready and do the whole foundation deal (I normally just use simple make-up) which I never use because I normally think it’s too much trouble and I was thinking to myself: And if I did all this for nothing and he isn’t there?

But he was there, so that was cool. I didn’t really talk to him directly so much--mostly in a group. I did ask him a couple questions here and there, mostly about what he mostly talked about--- which was school. (He’s in his last year of high school, so he has more pressure I guess ) He seems like a pretty normal guy, which I don’t really mind. I just think he’s adorable! Or at least looks so be so.

Anyway… Marina is so blunt. I accepted the offer of taking a ride with the 3 brothers (Bruno, Ilan and Ariel ) in order to hang around a bit longer. But Marina wanted us to stay longer. Several times they said they should leave, but she kept on insisting, up to the point where I only left with them around 9 PM.

But as I was saying… Marina wasn’t made to be indirect, or discreet. She tries—but she’s totally being blunt. She was trying to convince the brothers to stay longer, and in trying so she said: “Ariel, come on~ Stay longer. This way you can get to know other people.”

As she said other people, I was close by to her, and she used her hip to nudge me. And she did this with that huge smile of hers. I felt so goofy—she was being so obvious. She even tried to make sit on his lap. She was all: "Sit, sanji, sit!!" But I was all no way. That would be like a public confession!

She even told me that he’s interested. I was like—what?! What do you mean interested? Interested in what? I honestly wasn’t sure if I had heard her right. But then she got all incredulous and stomped away to the manga section in the bookstore that we were all in. I asked again, asking What do you mean? How?!—but somehow she didn’t give me a straight answer that I could understand. Or at least before I could insist on one she distracted me with something else. Darn it.

I have suspicions she might have said to make me bolder or something. I don’t know. *pouts * I always doubt things, that’s my problem. I rarely approach something with full certainty.

So basically, summarizing it all in a nutshell, I went out with Marina and friends to the movies (which btw wasn’t that good as I expected. It was quite boring. The only good thing was having Jude Law and Natalie Portman in it, plus an artistic filming style. But other than that the movie was a bloop) and afterwards we walked around, eventually sitting at one of the main verandas/balconies the mall has.

I swear, whenever I see Natalie Portman I HAVE to remember my sister. It’s scary. Oh, and the movie was “My Blueberry Nights.

Jude Law was gorgeous as always. <3

True Tears

Usually I firstly go by looks when it comes to anime. I tend to be picky and not pay attention to the typical "big-eyed- small mouths-disproportional heads" type. Because they tend to have either really pointless story-lines, going-no-where-comedies, or the humor is mostly all about panty-shots. Of course not all anime in that style are like that, but it's a lot of what I find. So normally I stay away from those and stick to the ones which at least have a different style, with a more realistic touch.

But True Tears really caught me by surprise.

I first decided to take a look at because it was being mentioned in a lot of blogs. Secondly, I liked the pace of the story. It wasn't too fast nor was it too slow. Although, the story itself isn't that interesting (the first 2 episodes seem to be a bit boring at first). It tells the story nicely, as each character goes through much development-- and might I say a lot of emotions during 13 episodes!

The animation is simple but swift when needed and the voice-acting shines at its most touching moments. I found myself extremely touched when the main protagonist Shini'chiro's voice starts to weaken as he starts to cry, all the while singing a seemingly childish song. I seriously wanted to cry with him! I could feel the lump in my throat already.

And like most-- a lot of stories rarely give you a satifactory ending, but True Tears almost did. ALMOST. I was just unhappy about who Shini'chiro ended up with. I still felt very sympathetic about his choice regardless.

Yes, I will not tell you the story or give you a summary. Because if I do, you most likely won't watch it, 'cause the story is that simple. But the characters are so well acted that you forget that part, and the story suddenly becomes so suspensful as you wait for what'll happen next. All I'll say is that it is a drama-romance.

True Tears was a great watch. It touched me at the last episode, (yeah, I'm a softie anyway) and even left me a bit sad even after having finished it nearly an hour earlier. But despite that, I really loved it.

My only real complaint is about the opening and endings songs. I couldn't warm up to them. But the music otherwise, throughout the anime, was very well done. That is, it all seemed to fit at the right moment.

Lately I've had the pleasure of finding many great animes to watch! <3 I reccommend this one to you!

School starting again

I'm surprised to say this... but I am relieved that classes are back. I felt really lonely for the most part of vacation. Now I'm back in school, seeing friends and classmates nearly everyday, and now I even have Christina with me! So things are more interesting. Though I have to admit that this week was surreal. It didn't feel like a regular school week... since it started only on Tuesday. But seriously, today didn't even feel like Friday. Weird.

I'm also worried a little that Marina doesn't seem to like Christina 'cause she's jealous or something? o_o; It's good and bad.

I'm sleepy, I need to wash my face. x_x

VENTING IS POINTLESS

I came here to vent out my frustration... I am still frustrated-- and annoyed. But I almost think there's no point in venting it all out in the first place, because I just get more annoyed about it. So never mind that.

And yeah!! This is what my blog is for, right? Yet there's no way I'm going to talk about it, because there's no point. I just get more annoyed about it as I think about it. After all, I'm the one who made my dad angry in the first place. I'm the one at fault.

But I apologized for being the butt-head. He called me geeky and square, and deep down, I admit to that. BUT STILL, why does he have to continue to give me what seems to be the cold shoulder? I'm aware that he isn't at his best today. Yet I can't get over the fact that this whole day nearly he has barely said a word to me. And that REALLY SUCKS when he's the only other person at home and I just so happen to love my dad very much. It sucks because I hate being ignored by him. It sucks because when he is not in a good mood, I feel intimidated to even say much to him.

You can argue that, yes, if I wanted to talk to him so much I could just come up with some way to start a conversation. But it isn't that easy. Seriously, sometimes my dad can be so scary.

All in all, I was just really annoyed when I was eating my soup in his room (because that's what we normally do when we eat together) and he was on his computer the whole time, with his back facing me, basically completely ignoring me. Yeah, I didn't say anything. But what can I say? I don't know what to say. I'm afraid that if I say anything the least bit cheerful or whatever, I'll simply get no real response, or no good response. Like you know when you start your convo with a question, and then the person answers and then you go "Oh, cool." or "I see,"--- then total silence. This is what I'm dealing with!

Which is fine, HEY-- I DESERVE IT I GUESS. Besides, he has every right to be in a bad mood if he wants to be. For all I know, he has worked hard enough to need a break. So yeah, fine. But it darn bugs the hell out of me anyway. Like, why am I never mad enough or entitled enough to be mad at my dad? (Not that I should want that... )

Okay, so that sounded really childish right now... Ignore that if you like.

Most of the time when I am annoyed with something my dad has said, I tend to shrug it off eventually because what he says ends up being true, so I have no real way to argue and well-- it ends up being pointless. Like, why bother bringing past things up again?

But now I'm REALLY annoyed. I may have no right to be, but I am. I probably should be the one comforting my dad, or trying to make him cheerful. But I don't think that's his problem. His problem today is with me, I think. He laughs about stuff he's read on the internet, but hasn't once smiled at me. WHICH IS FINE, heck, I don't care (liar).

GAAAH. I'm such a wuss. I can't stand it.