VENTING IS POINTLESS

I came here to vent out my frustration... I am still frustrated-- and annoyed. But I almost think there's no point in venting it all out in the first place, because I just get more annoyed about it. So never mind that.

And yeah!! This is what my blog is for, right? Yet there's no way I'm going to talk about it, because there's no point. I just get more annoyed about it as I think about it. After all, I'm the one who made my dad angry in the first place. I'm the one at fault.

But I apologized for being the butt-head. He called me geeky and square, and deep down, I admit to that. BUT STILL, why does he have to continue to give me what seems to be the cold shoulder? I'm aware that he isn't at his best today. Yet I can't get over the fact that this whole day nearly he has barely said a word to me. And that REALLY SUCKS when he's the only other person at home and I just so happen to love my dad very much. It sucks because I hate being ignored by him. It sucks because when he is not in a good mood, I feel intimidated to even say much to him.

You can argue that, yes, if I wanted to talk to him so much I could just come up with some way to start a conversation. But it isn't that easy. Seriously, sometimes my dad can be so scary.

All in all, I was just really annoyed when I was eating my soup in his room (because that's what we normally do when we eat together) and he was on his computer the whole time, with his back facing me, basically completely ignoring me. Yeah, I didn't say anything. But what can I say? I don't know what to say. I'm afraid that if I say anything the least bit cheerful or whatever, I'll simply get no real response, or no good response. Like you know when you start your convo with a question, and then the person answers and then you go "Oh, cool." or "I see,"--- then total silence. This is what I'm dealing with!

Which is fine, HEY-- I DESERVE IT I GUESS. Besides, he has every right to be in a bad mood if he wants to be. For all I know, he has worked hard enough to need a break. So yeah, fine. But it darn bugs the hell out of me anyway. Like, why am I never mad enough or entitled enough to be mad at my dad? (Not that I should want that... )

Okay, so that sounded really childish right now... Ignore that if you like.

Most of the time when I am annoyed with something my dad has said, I tend to shrug it off eventually because what he says ends up being true, so I have no real way to argue and well-- it ends up being pointless. Like, why bother bringing past things up again?

But now I'm REALLY annoyed. I may have no right to be, but I am. I probably should be the one comforting my dad, or trying to make him cheerful. But I don't think that's his problem. His problem today is with me, I think. He laughs about stuff he's read on the internet, but hasn't once smiled at me. WHICH IS FINE, heck, I don't care (liar).

GAAAH. I'm such a wuss. I can't stand it.

Mood swings

Listening to: “Wonderful Tonight” – Michael Bublé feat. Ivan Lins

Wow. Time flies, huh? It’s scary.

Where shall I start? Well, vacation is coming up. No, wait. Let me rephrase that:
“Vacation” starts on the 20th. It ends in less than a month.

Yeah, big deal, right? It’s better than nothing. But I’ll hopefully be moving into my official home during this time—so in other words it won’t be total relaxation.

Then again, since when is life relaxing? Just by doing nothing, it comes up with something. Something to get you worked up about or stressed out about or sad about.. or happy about. That’s life.

Lately I have had the pleasure of tasting those famous mood-swings teenagers are so known to have. Mine mostly seem to come during the night, before I go to bed. I start to feel mopey and miserable. But there have been times where I simply feel sad for no reason whatsoever-- all of a sudden, it comes without any warning.

And I all I want is a hug, a word of reassurance, a shoulder to cry on. But what’s the point of crying if there’s no reason to cry?

My life is a good one. Sure, there’s always room to improve, but I should have no real big reason to be complaining…

I’m not particulary saddy-feelining tonight, thankfully. But if I think too much on the subject, then I will become so. So--! Let’s change the subject!

Hmmm… I am SO glad this semester is ending. I’m also happy to say I’ve made many more friends at this school than in last year’s. The people here in Bahia (which is a different state all together) are much more warm and open, it seems. It makes things easier.

Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about much else. Or rather, I would if I could— and I can, but I shouldn’t—since it’s really late.
.. So good night then!

BEST NEWS EVER!!

One of my best friends, Cristina, is going to move to Salvador-- the very city I am living in-- in July!!! She's also gonna be here for a week starting this Saturday! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

Edit: May 14th '08 The funny thing is that I can't stop thinking about it ever since she talked to me about it-- the idea of it is making me happy but it's also making me nervous as well.

We shall haunt you.

I did not study a THING today.

After nearly not making it to one of the very last theatre meetings at school this morning (because they have this stupid rule that you can only be 6 minutes late max-- but I managed to slip in anyway), I took a bus with Adrianna and her brother to their house, with the plan that we'd study Math later in the afternoon with Lorena, for the upcoming test on Tuesday. Yet not only did Lorena come late, we could not seem to concentrate at first. Then, when we went up to her apartment to get a snack (popcorn) and we came back down to the porch at the entrance of the building, the six 7 year-olds playing around there feasted their greedy eyes on our popcorn bag and demanded some!

So we gave them some. But then they went totally BESERK and demanded more and more, until they started to jump on top of us, trying to grab the bag from our lifted arm. At one point I had the bag in my hand, since I was the tallest, so I though "HAH, you little brats won't get it now-- >;D!!" Little did I know they were darn determined, and I thought I was going to fall on the floor. We even went to the lengths of possibly going into the elevator and going back to her apartment, but NO. They just HAD to follow and jump like maniacs. I swear, those kids must have been seriously high on something.

So as you must have imagined, we eventually had to surrender to their insanity (just to get the idea, they even went to eat bits of popcorn that fell on the floor!)-- they got their popcorn and we got our peace to study. That is what we thought the deal was.

Oh, no. We were SO wrong! A few minutes later they started talking to us again (if you call speaking unnecessarily loud "talking"), insisting that they pester us with their odd jokes. Like they even had their own collection of dirty jokes-- in other words, about sex. It makes me realize how innocent my youth at that age was. o_o I mean, what happened to parental control?

So yeah. They went on about stuff-- pure nonsense. (Did I mention one boy was licking the insides of the popcorn bag that I had PUT IN THE TRASH to get the darn SALT taste on his tongue?!) At some point, we even went into the parking lot to see if we could get some peace. But NO, man!!! They followed us there. Only 15 minutes later or so, they said good-bye ("good-bye drunk ladies." they said. I was about to say "Good-bye you stonies!").

After some talking (since we couldn't possibly study properly on a bench), we went back to that dreaded porch and thank god they were gone-- they went upstairs to there little mommies. I fear for those poor mothers. O_o;; Those kids were scary, man!

Then we dragged our conversation to teachers and such, and how Adrianna is infatuated with our History teacher. Lorena could not stop reminding how she really had some doubts about some linear systems... therefore we did study a little bit (I explained to both her and Adrianna the basics on how to do solve a system). If you call that studying.

Despite those facts, I had a lot of fun. We laughed a lot as wells-- and that's always a plus! Now I'm home and... well, I had this huge urge to post about today. Well, mostly about the crazy kids.

On another note:
March and April were just a while ago, and now we're already in May. My birthday is coming the Sunday after this one! Isn't it freaky how this year is flying by? Yup. It sure is. My vacation starts already in the middle of next month! (thank goodness!)

Because quizzes are just plain amusing.