Emotions

OK, so I've taken almost another month to post something again. I'm not going to really apologize -- I just either don't feel like delving into my own feelings and little problems that life is throwing at me OR I am too lazy to write about mundane things.

Even so, I feel like I have neglected this blog which still holds a sentimental place in my heart. Wow, what a thing to say about a blog-- a tiny space of the internet that populates my nonsensical ramblings.

I get short bursts of urges to blog when I'm sad mostly. At that moment, I am feeling a strong emotion that I want to express in words, but I am also too sad or embarrassed to express it.

Everybody cries. But for what felt like the longest time, I was bewildered by my own tears. It's easier to understand yourself when you cry for a particular reason, but once in a while I get the urge to cry for no reason at all. Sometimes it's just seconds, and sometimes I spend several moments. Sometimes the emotion is quick to disappear, but now and then it feels like several emotions consume me at once and they lead me to crying.

It's not like I'm actually depressed -- but nonetheless I felt for a while that I was a weirdo for getting these strange sparks of strong emotions out of the blue. Thankfully I had a talk with my dad a couple days ago about this and he was nice enough to reassure me that it isn't unusual to have these moments when growing up. He said that we are here to feel these emotions.

I thought these moments only tend to last till the end of puberty, but I guess I was wrong!

Do you ever have these moments?

I AM IN LOVE

No, seriously.

GIGANTLY LATE UPDATE

Listening to: Kill the Light - Kitten
I am not dead... just in a different country at the moment. See, long story short: I'm in São Paulo right now, most likely to stay because finances don't let me continue college in Miami. Sure, I finished my 1st semester there fine, but what we thought would be not so impossible to achieve, turns out to be.

I started paying the out-of-state tuition, expecting that after a year of living there and such I'd be able to get the in-state requirements. But in the end it seems that the state of Florida, or maybe all colleges in general, make it nearly impossible for a person under 24 (considered an "dependent") to be "independent" and therefore eligible to residency for the in-state if you're parents cannot prove residency. Simple as that. Sure, there were other requirements as well that weren't impossible to get but extremely impractical and while trying to achieve such needs I'd be wasting another huge chunk of money for another year or so. That's even before I'd get the in-state tuition which would be more than half the cost of out-of-state.

ANYWAY that's just what the story was and the story now is that I'm here in São Paulo where I will most likely get a college degree here, either at an actual college, a specialized school, or a mix of a school here and an online college outside of Brazil. It all remains to be decided as to which, but most likely I'll be doing one of the first two here.

I may sound bitter and annoyed, but I'm ultimately happy to be back in Brazil. In the end, it feels more like home even though I'm not super familiar with São Paulo itself. Sure, it sucks to try something and not succeed completely, as far as studying in Miami, but it is what it is and it doesn't mean I won't go back there some time. I just can't right now based on the current circumstances.

I have a bunch of stuff at the apartment there, though. Possibly my dad will have to fly there eventually to get everything. Because initially I didn't come to SP to visit with staying in mind.

SOOOO YEAH. Been looking for short-term flats with my dad and stuff. There's not much else to say I suppose. That and I've been making a list of colleges and schools I'm interested in.

Also, I got tired of the JGL layout, even though it was so gorgeously 50's style. This girly purple thing is inspired by a manga called Strobe Edge, one I will review eventually, but rest assured I love it. IT IS SO FRIKKIN CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA! AND YET IT MANAGES TO BE SO DARN TOUCHING. Sorry, I had to use caps here.

Actors of Hollywood

In no particular order, these are the actors I particularly enjoy watching on the big screen. In other words, my favorite actors! And by no means does that mean there aren't any other actors I like-- there are plenty. Just that these are ones that I reeeeaaallly like, that I'll watch without any rational explanation. You get me? I'll end up mentioning some of my favorite movies in the process too. Mind you, these are movies I have seen. There are, I'm sure, plenty of movies that are awesome and I just haven't seen them yet. I'm a movie buff but a young one nonetheless.

Anthony Hopkins
What can I say? Anthony Hopkins is so inspiring on so many levels. He's intelligent, cultured, versatile, and one hell of an actor. He's an actor with a strong presence. He draws you into the movie before you can even realize that you're unable to take your eyes off of the screen. I have yet to see all of his movies, but the ones that I have seen have been terrific.

Movies to see: Fracture, Meet Joe Black, The Edge.

Joaquin Pheonix
I discovered this actor with Gladiator (one of my favorite movies, if you ever ask me). Simply fell in love with his character in the movie and ever since then I admire his talents. I don't know what really to say, only that he's not your typical Hollywood actor. He has raw talent that doesn't feed itself only on looks and charm. And I am so glad that "rapper beard dude" was a prank.

Movies to see: Gladiator, Walk the Line.

Russel Crowe
I could not mention Joaquin Pheonix without mentioning Russel Crowe. Yes, I also came to notice him in Gladiator. (Forgive me!) There's no doubt this actor has talent and presence, but I also can't omit the fact that his voice is divine. The perfect example of how a deep but gentle voice can melt your heart! If you're a gal like me, that is. Anyway, silliness aside ---Russel Crowe has such a stage presence and is a great storyteller as well.

Movies to see: Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Robin Hood*
*Robin Hood isn't really my favorite at all. But I thought why not mention it since it's.. recent?

Tom Hanks
This guy is such a sweetheart. Maybe it's because I grew up with his movies since Forrest Gump that I like him so much. 'Don't know. All I can say is that Tom Hanks is almost always good. Not only is he a great actor, but a great producer of movies and mini-series.

Movies to see: Forrest Gump, Catch Me If You Can, Cast Away.

Matthew McConaughey
Most know this Texan guy for being the lady charmer of romantic comedies, but there's two sides to every coin! I like him for both, although I admit I've watched quite a few chick flicks because of him. His charm and looks are hard to resist, being so laid back and confident. Movies that I mention here are just my personal favorites.

Movies to see: Contact, Wedding Planner, A Time to Kill* * Haven't seen "A Time to Kill" yet, but according to my dad it's a good movie.

Jude Law
OK, to be honest -- I was itching to put him up first. But I resisted! Anybody who knows me well enough when it comes to actors will know I am crazy about Jude Law. But aside from being a perfect combo of genetics and, in my opinion, a could be royal for being so physically perfect, he is also a wonderful actor.

Movies to see: Alfie, Artificial Intelligence: A.I., Gattaca, The Aviator,
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow*

Leonardo DiCaprio
I think it was when he started doing movies that played in the 40s and 50s that he really won me over. He has such a passion for acting-- you can just see it in his eyes. He's dedicated to his roles and really makes an effort to live in the mind of each. And it all comes out as being effortless. That's true talent right there.

Movies to see: Catch Me If You Can, The Aviator, Revolutionary Road*, Inception.
* A beautiful movie in a sense that it is a piece of art and the actors are amazing in it. But be sure you have something that will definitely cheer you up afterwards, because it's quite the sad story and may catch you off guard.

Will Smith
What's not to like about Will Smith? He's versatile not only in his comedies but also in his more dramatic films. I don't remember when I started as a fan of Will Smith-- it just sneaked in unnoticed, honestly. Though no doubt it has been quite a few years since! For me, he's another talented actor (and musically too!) who has worked very hard to get where he is now and it's a treat to watch.

Movies to see: Hitch, Pursuit to Happiness, Men in Black, I- Robot, Seven Pounds*
*A gut wrenching movie that left me disturbed for a couple days. So I have mixed feelings about this one.

The good old days

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing brings such nostalgia! I was so addicted to it. Good times, good times, those were... The "golden age" as they say. I'm only surprised that I actually prefer the english voices for this one. At least now I can watch it in chronological order. 

Yes, my blog layout is stupid and cuts the video off. Just click on it to see it in YouTube.