Janmastami

Janmastami was… comforting, in some ways. But it was also tiresome.
I fasted through the whole thing. I spent most of the day laying in bed, reading a book, and drinking lots of water. I actually read 3 or 4 books the amount of 130 pages in a couple hours! Once I played a game on the GBA, to see if I could get farther on that Final Fantasy game, unfortunately I failed. I didn’t go on the computer at all that day. Not once. And that’s not normal for me. I felt I shouldn’t after all it was Janmastami.

I did help with cooking though. I helped peal boiling hot potatoes with a knife, and “dried” slices of potatoes with a cloth to make chips. I was terrible at the pealing. I was going so slowly compared to Marçiana. She pealed 2 or 3 potatoes in the time I was still struggling with my first! And they were so hot, too. Oh, and I also helped watch the tapioca on the stove to prevent from boiling over for my mom. Not much, but something at least.

In some ways it felt strange fasting, because it makes you feel so weak. One time I was looking for my mom and ran up and down the stairs twice and I was already exhausted and shaking when I found her. Just supporting my head on my hand made my hand quiver, but amazingly enough, I lasted through the whole thing, despite my hunger. Once when I was helping in the kitchen, I was flipping through the cookbook looking at all the yummy looking dishes. I swear my mouth was watering just looking at them. That’s how hungry I felt.

Before I helped in the kitchen, I made garlands for the Deities. We only had one kind of flower, so there was only one color. It was strange though, I had to make 3 garlands, and every time I made the next they became bigger. The first one was the smallest, the second bigger, and the last was the biggest. I guess I didn’t measure right. But it was creepy when I had to go outside to pick some more. It was getting dark and everything looked eerie in the silence, especially the pool. So I was quick to pick them, I didn’t want to be out longer. But I had to go twice because the first time I forgot to take the basket to put the flowers in. When I came inside again, my dad was smiling at me and sort of chuckled while he said: “It’s spooky out there at night, huh?” “Yes” was my answer.

While my dad went to the program at the institute/center, I stayed with Maçiana and my mom. We did other things in the kitchen. After that, we waited for the devotees to come, since we were going to do the abbhi-shake (I have no idea how spell that, so I’m making my won way.) at home. It felt like waiting forever. I was hungry and the only thing I could think of was eating, especially since it was so close to breaking fast. I was also really tired. I always found myself laying my head on the kitchen table and just closing my eyes. Only my hunger kept me awake.

When they arrived, I was relieved. When we were still waiting for them, in between my mom and me sat there watching the camera that looks out to the driveway to see if there were any cars coming up. And in between that I found my mom watching a movie on TV just to distract herself. What was she watching? Edward Scissorhands. It was at the ending, though. Anyway, it took a while, but somehow everybody arrived in the nick of time.

It’s strange, but when we did the abbhi-shake my hunger was pushed aside. I completely forgot about it. I got to pour some honey on them, but that was all.

After the deities were cleaned and dressed in new clothing, Marçiana and I helped my mom serve prasadam. We brought it all outside on the table where we usually eat breakfast and lunch, and everybody ate there, except Marçiana and me. We needed a separate table because we couldn’t fit on the other since there were so much people.

Even though I was really hungry, I didn’t eat a lot, as someone would expect you to if had just fasted for the whole day. I couldn’t. Since I’m spoiled I’m use to my mom’s cooking so I mostly just ate what she made. Anything else, I didn’t like. And since it was such a small plate and there was so much food it was all squished together on my plate. I don’t mind it that much, it’s just frustrating because usually when you have something salty, it collides with the sweet things, and the flavors mix into something that does not taste good. Even though I didn’t eat much, I sort of secretly took seconds, but just the things I liked.

When everybody finished eating and people were getting cold outside, of course, everybody went inside and started talking away. I was still tired as ever so my mom allowed me to go upstairs to go to sleep. It was a relief. But even though I was tired I couldn’t resist but to read some before I went to sleep.

Since my mom is so generous she called Sabrina this morning and said I couldn’t do school because I went to bed so late. So I was able to sleep in. Now it’s morning and almost 12 o’clock and I’ll be able to eat something soon. We have to fast till noon since it’s Srila Praphupada’s appearance day. But fasting till noon is a piece of cake for me, so I won’t complain.