Listening to: "Midnight Parade" - BoA
Don't you hate when you have nothing to talk about? Or better, are too lazy to type it all up and talk about it? Well, that's me. I come to you now empty handed, though, my supposedly mysterious readers. Okay, not completely empty handed, I still have little bits of stuff we call "frustration" in my hands. But with that, I also got laziness, which makes me not want to even talk about it. But I gotta talk about something, else this ol' blog is gonna die some day. Pitiful, I know.
But then again, it might be better to just change the subject completely. Or else before I know it I'll get all whiny and start to bug you guys and in the process, bug myself. So that there goes that idea...I guess.
OK, anyway...
It's pretty weird to think I'll be considered 15 years old in just a matter of two/three and a half weeks or so. I mean, what is that supposed to mean anyway? Besides I being one year older, that is. I guess one advantage of being older is that people tend to acknowledge your presence more. Then again, they'll expect more from you... and I don't exactly like to be the center of attention. I hate it actually.
And what's with kids expecting older ones to be already dating?! I mean, it's annoying... What's weirder is that it seems more likely in school to have people younger than me already dating. I guess in that sense, I'm a late bloomer.
It's not like I want have a relationship. The mare idea creeps me out a bit. It just seems so weird to imagine. At least when it's me in the picture...
Dunno why I'm even talking about this. It's stupid to be whining. I guess it's my goofy insecurity that triggering it.
Ok, now changing the topic completely...
There's this school in Rio de Janeiro where they only teach in English. Supposedly it's full of foreigners. My dad thinks it would be probably just a tad easier for me to handle highschool and school in general if I studied in English, since after this year is done, I'm going to have to change schools, and that's scary as it is. Plus, if I ever wanted to study in the US for college, I'd be able to have a chance to go to various colleges, because the school is affiliated with the US. And I could meet a lot interesting people at that school, and maybe even make more than 2 friends.
What am I saying with all this? There's the teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy possibility that at the end of the year we might move there. Maybe, maybe, maybe. So far it's just an idea. Another reason is because my dad thinks it very unlikely that my mom's going to come back anytime soon, and if she comes back at all, she most likely won't come to Fortaleza. So there's another reason...
Besides, Rio is a big place. It's full of interesting things, always something happening. Fortaleza is a small town... We're pretty limited here.
Anyway... I just wanted to mention it. Why? Dunno, just felt like it. It's something to talk about.
Can't really think of anything to mention. Not anything I'd like to at the moment, at least. So I think's that all I'll talk about. I'm going to try to post something every day, if possible. And if not, at least once or twice a week.
So... see ya peeps. Thanks for listenin'
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10 years ago
1 said miss mademoiselle:
Syama, I am sad for you. ;_;
No, in all serious, without teary little computer faces, I AM. Of all the people who were forced to move - you, me, Govinda - you got the worst of it. You only have two friends?! I didn't know that! I just knew there are certain kids you talk of more than others.
I'm really sad about your mom leaving, and your doubts of her coming back. That must be devastating. I mean, I know I'm older so I'm supposed to be independant and mature, but I understand!
I LOVE my mom to pieces, so I get really homesick for her very easily. Like when she was gone for two weeks or so in Minnesota, I cried my butt off half the time. I know, I'm such a baby...(how am I going to survive college, alone in a dorm and unable to cook much? haha, my brothers and sisters joke with me about it all the time, and my mother worries about it).
It sounds like moving to Rio De Janeiro and going to that English-speaking school would be easier for you and better. You sound very unhappy, and it must be hard living in a foreign (although it's probably gotten familiar) country, away from North America you're used to.
It must be tough moving so much, too. And living in a house with one parent must get lonely! *hugs you*
But psh posh about the boy thing. I can imagine you with some guy! Don't be so afraid of it. It's gonna happen some day.
And you've had crushes on guys before, so what's to scary about thinking of them liking you, and the two of you hanging out together (and kissing, ooh. lol! just said that to make you laugh, no but really, I know you're not into it yet and the idea totally curdles your stomach, but the kissing part is fun, too). So don't be so worried about the whole boy thing. You're older, it'll creep up on you evetually when you like some guy and then he'll like you back and it'll be all dandy. It's not like a nightmare or some disaster like situations can be in the movies.
Sorry for my rambling, I bet half of it didn't make sense. Hope you had fun reading this tho, byeth! (that's bye and eth, together. I speaketh medieval, no?)
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