My dad just told me to go to sleep. I'm not surprised, since it's one of the first times I'm ready for bed early. I mean, at 10PM. And I have my last test tomorrow, which'll start at 10AM. So I'll have to get up early anyway.
But I just want to leave something here. I've been strange lately. Maybe it's because it's the end of the year and I'm tired of school, yet I've been excessively irritable and distant lately with my friends. Today Cristina mentioned to me that Marina thinks I simply don't talk to her anymore. Which isn't entirely wrong, but it's not like I refrained from talking to her completly, it's just-- I don't know why-- but I feel drained out, with no patience leftover. And Marina's the type of person, with which you need a lot of patience, to not get easily annoyed with. I really like Marina, but I'm also a little sick of... well, instead of saying her, I'll just say "it all". Sounds nicer.
Maybe I'm exagerating. I'll apologize and explain to her that I've been very moody lately and that it has nothing to do with her, it's just me and well.. me only. I don't know why I'm so irritable, but the most normal things bug the hell out of me these past few weeks and now I just don't even join in any conversations and sort of avoid joining in as well. Hopefully once vacation is in full go, I'll chill a little more.
On friday I'll receive my report-card!
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10 years ago
1 said miss mademoiselle:
I'm sorry to hear of the troubles you are having. Sometimes it is the inner emotions and the self that causes the most turmoil.
It could be PMS, but the PMS mood I think only hangs around for a few days before your period, not weeks. So it sounds like it is just your mood. The question is, what is making you this way? That is the mystery that even you cannot figure out. It seems to me like it is one of those inexplicable, difficult things where for no reason at all, you just feel nonparticipatory, short-steamed and short-tempered.
It happens to everyone, it's totally understandable. I would say, definitely take some time to yourself, to just drift a bit - draw a bit, read a bit, write a bit, sleep, whatever you want.
Your friend sounds a little fragile, and I'm not saying it is your fault. I think apologizing is a good idea, because you don't want her to blame herself or take it too hard. Don't feel bad, because it's not your fault that she is worrying. She is probably just worried about you, more than anything.
Maybe talking about it will help, even if you don't know the reason behind it? If not, then just say like you said you would, that you've been moody lately and you apologize if it seemed like you didn't want to talk to her.
As far as secretly not wanting to talk to her...that's understandable, too. Sometimes even friends get annoying. Too much time around a person's certain little quirks can grate on you. I've had that happen, trust me.
Try to spend some time to yourself so you don't feel crowded in and forced to do or be a certain way by your friend's personality.
If you can't get time alone, maybe just a bit of light talk can get you by, especially if you explain that you haven't been feeling well lately (maybe just saying that, instead of saying you're moody, will be enough. If you say you're moody, it might spark her to want to spend more time with you or bring you somewhere, which you might not want just now).
And remember, take deep breaths. :)
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