pity speech

It almost seems as if the amount of posts I've had this year is a reflection of how much I fulfilled this year-- or rather, how much I felt fulfilled. In other words, most of this year was school. You know, just school. Pretty much school. When I had a break, I took it as a time to watch TV or play games.

That's also fun, but for some reason, it makes me feel ashamed of myself to see how little I took time to express my emotions this year in either of my blogs. Trust me, I had a good share of emotions this year.

I know there's no real point on getting hard on myself, after all, it's just a hobby, but I do feel a little disappointed. I use to feel such a thrill writing and slowly I'm getting back to it-- I'm going back to it, I hope. I felt like as if I was shedding some skin, taking off a load, or releasing myself of something. I hope that I can be consistent and not let college trample me as well.

I know it's just a matter of wanting it enough-- but my will, even if there is desire, is normally so weak. I've learnt that this year. And I just feel like venting this out. Yes, sometimes I need a pity speech in order to get myself moving.

I've made pancakes!

Yes, pancakes! I dreamed of making them someday-- on my own. It's been years since I've had them. I remember when I was a kid I'd be at a friend's house and his dad would make pancakes. *-*

The insides came out a little mushy, though. I guess I should have been more patient and let them on the frying pan a little longer. I honestly don't remember how they're supposed to be, other than fluffy, maybe? For the first try they were okay, I guess. I only wish I has whip-cream-- that would have completed it!

Today I got my final report card and I passed! I had never been so nervous to get my grades-- I was even scared to open the envelope and see, so one of the staff opened it for me. I'm going to miss school, especially this particular school. Even though it's considered one of the more tough and disciplined ones, I dunno why-- I really liked it. The teachers, the people, the staff. Everything. I complained a ton this year, but all in all, I still love the school. On my way there I also got to see Marina, a friend from last year which I barely got to see this year, 'cause she continued to study in the afternoon and not in the morning like me. I haven't even mentioned to her that I'm going to go to Florida soon. x_x I feel a little guilty about that.

I'm glad I passed "straight through", despite it not being with flying colors-- but I'm sorta stumped that I don't have summer school-- 'cause it was going to be the excuse to see my other classmates. Not to say I can't go stop by the school still, since those who are going through to the 2nd level of the university/college entrance exam are still going to class. But I'm almost positive someone's gonna have to push me in order to go there.

I'm overall happy about today. Did I mention that while my dad has been away I've been watching a lot of TV? Yeah, a lot! Shameful me. ¬o¬ I can't help it, it's fun as "company".

Back from the dead -- again.

It's strange to be all alone at home. My dad went today to São Paulo for a couple days, and even though he has gone on a trip before and therefore I have been alone before, it feels even stranger. I guess because I'm off school, I find myself having even more time to think to myself. It's a little creepy...

I almost feel like my inner child comes back to life when I'm alone at home for long periods. Like all the fears you would normally have as a child, come back to bug me. But in the end it's mostly my paranoia, which doesn't have any good fundament.

I'm disappointed that I didn't manage to keep posting this year, or really go on the computer much. Only now I have the time. I'm still waiting for my grade results-- have to see if I'm going to pass without having to go through summer school(?). I'm getting my grades on Tuesday. x-x

As far as college is concerned, I'm just going to Miami Dade, a community college, for now. A few months ago I realized the art college was too ambitious for me. To start with something big like that wouldn't be good for a beginning year(s) of college. So I'm going to the community college, and if the 2 years they offer aren't enough for me, I can always transfer to the state university of Florida for a bachelor's degree.

I finally got to see the second half of I Walk the Line, the movie about Johnny Cash and some of his life. I already 'am a huge fan of Reese Witherspoon, and I became a fan of Joaquin Pheonix after Gladiator, but man! This movie made me enjoy them even more. Can you believe they're the ones who actaully sing in the movie? I love Pheonix's deep voice, it sounds better than the original, hehe. Aside from that it's a great movie in all. Although it's sort of predictable because almost every star deals with those problems, or at least some of them, I didn't expect such a positive ending. It put a smile on my face, that's for sure. Besides that--! I looove oldies, and this kind of sweet country/rock'n'roll tunes are simply adorable.

So go watch the movie if you haven't!

P.S. Is Twitter really that fun? It's a cute idea andI have an account, but unless you know somebody there, I can't find any fun in it.