It almost seems as if the amount of posts I've had this year is a reflection of how much I fulfilled this year-- or rather, how much I felt fulfilled. In other words, most of this year was school. You know, just school. Pretty much school. When I had a break, I took it as a time to watch TV or play games.
That's also fun, but for some reason, it makes me feel ashamed of myself to see how little I took time to express my emotions this year in either of my blogs. Trust me, I had a good share of emotions this year.
I know there's no real point on getting hard on myself, after all, it's just a hobby, but I do feel a little disappointed. I use to feel such a thrill writing and slowly I'm getting back to it-- I'm going back to it, I hope. I felt like as if I was shedding some skin, taking off a load, or releasing myself of something. I hope that I can be consistent and not let college trample me as well.
I know it's just a matter of wanting it enough-- but my will, even if there is desire, is normally so weak. I've learnt that this year. And I just feel like venting this out. Yes, sometimes I need a pity speech in order to get myself moving.
Avalanche Software Art Blog - Moving to Tumblr!
10 years ago
1 said miss mademoiselle:
Cute new blog template!
In general I say no to pity speeches (to others; of course I allow myself some, haha), but if it helps to get you moving, then go you! chug chug along!
I am glad you are posting again, and that you are thinking about the self is interesting and probably helpful.
Don't be too hard on yourself, though. Like you said, it is just a hobby. But you do want to be able to have the will to do things, because otherwise life is, like you've said, unfulfilling.
Go you for wanting to make changes. Now go make them!
P.S. College tramples everyone. But don't worry, you'll make it.
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