what title should I put? ?_?;

I felt so inspired to study today. I did start a little later than I should have, and I had big hopes to be able to study Chemistry and a little bit of Biology, but I didn't even manage to study all of Chemistry. I'm just too slow...

I'm not going to let myself get stressed out yet, though. That has been my strategy lately-- no stress! Stress leads you to ruin, at times. Or panicking.

I'm a hard working student at some times, but lazy in comparison to some others. Daddy-o says I should not just focus on studying. And he's right! But I have such a hard time on trying to do my best on school while focusing on other things. In that sense I'm not a good multi-tasker.

Yeck, why do I always start with school t-t As if it it'll be so important to me in the next couple years, right? But I have this complex that tells me I need to prove myself capable. Me dad only wants me to pass, and so do I, but I want to pass with good grades, with great grades. Not just okay grades. ~_~

Nya, whatever. I have to figure out a balance somehow. I need to keep school out of this blog somehow. It eats up all my posts and takes out all the quirkiness.

Speaking of quirkiness-- check out a band called The Boy Least Likely To. They are very cool and sweet and odd! Sadly I haven;t been able to find all the songs I wanted for download. Go to their website.

One recommendation is "Every Goliath Has Its David". A lot of their songs are so happy and cute. Some songs can get their dark side too, though. But seriously, take a look! Another song that's great as well, and more easy to find, is "Be Gentle with Me". And well-- the others ones are awesome too! -->(Balloon On A Broken String!) Too bad they don't have all the songs of their new album on the site. ;o One reviewer said that if your plushies and teddybears started a band, these would be the songs they'd be singing. XD

Oh and of course they are British. Good ol' brits make good music, interesting and creative stuff-- let's admit it!


Ramble-y post. Not what I wanted. And it's 9PM AHHHH!!! ToT I have to be ready by 9:30 for bed.
I sound like such a kid here, lol.

In need of a change-- of me.

It seems like I only have these bursts of "I need to write now" in the late hours of the night-- when I know I should be sleeping, but the energy is so high, especially after seeing a movie that left you inspired and happy, which in my case was "In the Land of Women." But that isn't what I'm going to talk about now.

What I want to talk about is what I have been avoiding, as in avoiding to write about. It's something very simple and basic, but I keep on leaving it for "later" and never do it, like many other things.

I need to write down what I want to change, what I want to improve, what I want to do, what I WANT, what I feel I NEED in order to take out this in-content feeling out of me, this feeling that I'm just letting my days go by, giving away all the chances I have for so many different experiences. The feeling that I'm not happy with myself.

I never really was, a 100%, or else I'd be one of those confident people and most likely wouldn't be going this this monologue so many times already-- but yeah-- so!

1) I want to stop hiding in my own little world. 'Stop being afraid of showing who I am. In other words, I want to be able to look straight at someone when I'm talking to them and not elsewhere.

2) I want to be able to come up to someone I've never talked to before, but I have been itching too for a while, and actually be able to have a conversation and to continue talking the next day.

3) I want to be able to make a friend that is "irrelevant" in relation to the group of friends that I have now and keep that friend in contact.

4) And as silly as this may sound, I want to be able to look at a guy who I may find attractive and be able look at him as a possible friend, a person to get to know, rather than a romantic prospect.

5) I want to be independent of my group of friends, casual or not.
6) I want to be, for a change, the person who invites someone/or a group out and not the one to be invited.
7) I want to be comfortable in my skin.
8) I want others to be comfortable around me.

Those are just some things I could think of. I know a lot of it has to do with self confidence issues and insecurity, but making a note of each goal is what my dad has suggested to me. It makes sense, too-- he said that by doing this, my brain will slowly but surely, come up with a solution, as it gets accustomed to the ideas.

Any suggestions are good for me, even if hard to hear. :)
Good night!

Berlin-o

I'm currently staying with my mom in Berlin, Germany for two weeks. I flew ALONE and it was scary. But now I'm here dealing with the cold weather and hanging out with me Mom and soon with some of her friends and my sister. So if you're wondering what happened to me or why I don't comment or why I suck at keeping in touch with things, it's 'cause this trip has taken all my time, with planning and now I want to just spend time with my mom now.

Wish me luck. :D

It's bloody hot outside!

Seriously. I'm tempted to get my bikini top on. For now I just rolled up my shirt and made a knot. But anyway... Today has been frustrating so far. I went out to go to the Juizado de Menores, which is the place where you get permission, being a minor, for certain things, like in my case, for traveling outside the country. We had brought all the papers except a birth certificate. See, the smart people who made the new Brazilian passports decided to not put the parents names in it, so in other words, it leaves no proof that my parents are my real parents. So we simply had to go back home and hopefully today we'll be going back there to get it done and over with.

I was able to talk to a cute guy in one of the office booths, though. *-* I mean, I just needed to go back and ask a few questions, just to make sure that there wasn't anything else we need to do. But the man we talked to was on the phone, and the charming man on the table was kindly asking me if I needed anything, and so I asked him the questions and couldn't help but feel relieved afterwards, thinking Aaah, it was worth the frustration just now..

Yes, yes.. Silly me.

And now I'm wondering if I should stop this post now and get my things ready so I can maybe sleep over at Cristina's. But I'm feeling really lazy. I'll post some more in a few days when I don't have much. Or rather... anything to do. Because I don't have much to do, yet I have something to do. So yeah.

I miss my blog ;_; Oh, and I've gotten rid of my cold! YAY! And more thing--> I saw a awesome movie called Almost Famous, and it's just so cool and sweet and gaah I loved it. So funny too. You must watch it!

I suck at titles~

I'm almost better. I'm getting there, but I'm not totally cured. This bug that I've got has been really resistant, seeing that I've been sick since... well, for 2 weeks? Almost that.

It's been rainy, cold and wet these past few days. I forget that Salvador is a city where it can rain once in a while, and that's why it's so green, after all. While Fortaleza was in a place where it only rained during one time in the year.

As usual, during vacation I get back to working on "projects" that I seem to adore to neglect during the year. One example is a site that I'm making in tribute to a manga character, called Shin, from a manga called NANA-- which is by the way the most gorgeous, heartfelt, "emotional-high" lovely shoujo manga out there. Don't miss out!

So yeah, Shin's of course a pretty boy and I love him to death. You know how obsessions are! The tribute is called... wild horse. Cheesy, yes, but I love the fact that it's different.


Anyway, if you'd like to take a peek at, well, the "coming soon" sign I made for it, you can go here. You might not see the image at all though, 'cause I tried uploading and seeing it online now and it just won't show its face. But maybe it's just my goofy browser that's being stubborn. So take a look if ya like.