Listening to: "If You Can Afford Me" - Kate Perry

Finally I'm managing to get my studying schedule back on track. That is.. at least I'm starting to get my show together, trying to be more organized again. I just hope I can do it all in time to pass this year, with no extra classes in December. I want early vacation!

Cristina's birthday was yesterday, so after school I, her, and some other friends went to eat out at a restaurant. We were going to go with a bus all the way, but we took the wrong one, and had to get off-- we walked the rest of the way there. For nearly 40 minutes. Imagine a about 6 people with backpacks walking at night in the streets. I wasn't really nervous or scared only because there was at least one guy, Eduardo, there. Davi doesn't count, because I don't think he'd be reliable in a tough situation. So yeah-- 2 guys and 3 girls. Later to be meeting up with Marina's boyfriend. All in all, it was fun. The only down side is that my dish took ages because they burnt it the first time, and since I was stubborn and wanted the same dish, waited for the next one to be made, which took even longer than what I was told.

I'm quite happy, now that I've made myself more physiqued to study... I think that's what has been throwing me off these past few weeks, or last two months even.

I don't know if I should be happy or sad to have not much to talk about (new things, that is).
...

french-fries yummy

My moment of creativity is either now or never. I mean… I’m either going to post now or only a week later. That’s just my pattern lately. My pattern of thought, that is… since I haven’t posted in ages, actually.

Since I seem to always start with school—I’m not going to this time. Yes, I said the word, but the rest of that I can mention at the end, right? Right.

So. It’s nearly 11PM and I hope I can make myself wake up relatively early so that I can get a quick start at studying for my Geography test coming this Tuesday. I must get myself enthusiastic studying again. My grades went a little down hill these past few months. I think my last Geography test was my best grade in comparison to my other grades as of late.

I don’t understand why I manage to do so well on the Geography tests. Because even when I study for it all, when I’m reading the stuff in front of me, I barely understand half of it. I go like—“ Huh? What? Wait, I have to read that again.“ And so I read the same paragraph 3 times.

I like Geography. I just don’t like studying it. And once it gets into day-to-day politics I cringe. I know it’s good to know about the recent happenings, but it all gets so much more complicated for my wee little brain.

Yes, only I can call my brain “wee”. On my blog… If someone else called my brain small I’d be really annoyed. But that’s just me and my lack of knowing how to deal with criticism.

OK. I ended up talking about school first, in the end. My last few blog posts have obtained a style where I cannot deny my thoughts anymore. As hard as I try to not mention something, I mention it anyway. Maybe this is a sign I’m maturing? Or maybe I’m more relaxed here…

I barely ate anything today. I’m starting to feel a subtle heaviness in my eyes. Very subtle, but it’s there. Yet I will not go yet!

I have been not drawing much. …Just the regular doodle-faces-and-eyes-on-the-side-of-my-notebook-thing. I have not written anything. I also haven’t replied to Chai’s Maugre e-mail. OMG!

Oh yes. It’s been a month and maybe a week or two since I cut my hair. Real short. I love it. Short hair is just plain better for me.

‘Been going out a lot during the weekends. Last weekend I slept over at Marina’s place, after going to an anime convention with her, Cristina and friends. I was only able to buy three mangas. I didn’t have the courage to spend over R$20. I also only saw Ariel when he was already on his way off! This is the 2nd time this has happened to me.

And every time I always forget to say his name when I say hello. I just end up saying hello. Whereas Cristina has had the luck of saying hello to him, with his name attached, and in return, has received a smile as well. I want a smile too, darn it! It has happened already 2 times. Hopefully next time I can do something that’ll give me a smile as well…

You have no idea how adorable and gorgeous he looks when he smiles. With a normal expression, or in other words, a straight face, he looks a bit spacey, in a cute adorable way, but when he smiles, it’s beautiful. Of course I think like this because I’m stuck having a crush on him. Otherwise he ain’t that good-looking.

This is random, but have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Well, I have. Two weeks ago, in a freezing cold pool. I didn’t want to. But the girls dragged me into the pool and took away anything that covered me. At first I was frikkin’ embarrassed. Yet in the end, I had a lot of fun. Thank goodness no one else was home other than the maid.

This was at Ariel’s house, btw. Yes—he has a sister, you see. And she was the only one at home once her parents and her 3 bothers went out, and since she didn’t want us to go home—me, Cristina, Marina, Mariana, and herself made French-fries and chocolate, while some talked about the crazy stories or problems in their life. The French-fries were yummy.

I should go to bed. Nearly 11:30 PM.
I’ll talk more some other time! Tootles.

Kooky.

Listening to: "Outta My Head" - Ashlee Simpson

Okay, so I was little kooky that Sunday. But I'm fine now. I'm sane. Sort of. I still have a huge crush on him, I still think about him, and I've already looked at the 2 pictures I have of him more than 5 times already.

Thankfully my dad is a genius and managed to make me feel better about it, saying that I should just go for it and try and get to know him better anyways. Which is what some other of my friends told me, among others who said to just move on-- but my dad is just perfect with words, so he sounded more reassuring. He even understood me when I said I thought I saw two different personalities-- one at the party and one at the mall.

The one at the mall seemed normal, friendly, shy, and just plain adorable. The guy at the party was plain intimidating. And my dad managed to finish the "intimidating" part without me even saying it! It was then that I realized how nervous and nervous+scared I was about going up to him and even pondering the possibility of talking to him. I did eventually, which didn't work out as I hoped, but I'm over that part.

I seriously have never had such a big crush on someone. I have only seen him 3 times. You know what 3 times is?! Three times...!
...Can't wait to see him again though. But I'm afraid that once I do I'll be without words, haha.

I have already told this story to so many people that attempting to talk about it now seems out of the question at the moment. I only get annoyed and frustrated and stupidly ANNOYED with myself if I do. And yes this blog serves as a place to let out my feelings, but the atmosphere today just doesn't help.

I have a cold. It cloudy and cold. I still think the guy's gorgeous even after I find out now that he's at least not interested anymore and that he might just be a bit too spoiled and maybe a tad arrogant. But maybe I'm just thinking that because I feel that my ego was injured and well... it sucks to like a guy that's daddy little boy and plenty of girl are after him and he might have someone he likes and yeah.

Whatever.
So is life.

I'm just a silly 17 year-old mopping about crushes, those things I never really have. And IT SUCKS AT THE MOMENT.
I told myself and Cristina that I may try to at least be friends. But right now I don't feel like seeing him, even though he lives so close by-- up to the point where I didn't want to tag along with Marina and her boyfriend Yuki/Ozzy, to the beach to meet up with the gang, mostly because I'm sick.

She said she'd call me back when they left the beach. They probably already have. And I would like to hang out with her, but I'm reluctant and therefore I prefer not to call and see what's up.

Why do I have to be such a goof ball-drama queen in my blog when thing's aren't that great?
Anyway, I'm being immature, I know. But I am still sulky about it. I need something to distract myself. The problem is that I passed the last 2 weeks thinking constantly about the dude. And I still do. With some bitterness, at the moment, lol, but it'll pass. I am to be friends with him at least. I just have to get myself to gather the courage.

No sicky!!

I cannot get sick!!!111
Not now.
No.
PLEASE. .-.

Lol. I'm going to so laugh at this post later.