Berlin-o

I'm currently staying with my mom in Berlin, Germany for two weeks. I flew ALONE and it was scary. But now I'm here dealing with the cold weather and hanging out with me Mom and soon with some of her friends and my sister. So if you're wondering what happened to me or why I don't comment or why I suck at keeping in touch with things, it's 'cause this trip has taken all my time, with planning and now I want to just spend time with my mom now.

Wish me luck. :D

It's bloody hot outside!

Seriously. I'm tempted to get my bikini top on. For now I just rolled up my shirt and made a knot. But anyway... Today has been frustrating so far. I went out to go to the Juizado de Menores, which is the place where you get permission, being a minor, for certain things, like in my case, for traveling outside the country. We had brought all the papers except a birth certificate. See, the smart people who made the new Brazilian passports decided to not put the parents names in it, so in other words, it leaves no proof that my parents are my real parents. So we simply had to go back home and hopefully today we'll be going back there to get it done and over with.

I was able to talk to a cute guy in one of the office booths, though. *-* I mean, I just needed to go back and ask a few questions, just to make sure that there wasn't anything else we need to do. But the man we talked to was on the phone, and the charming man on the table was kindly asking me if I needed anything, and so I asked him the questions and couldn't help but feel relieved afterwards, thinking Aaah, it was worth the frustration just now..

Yes, yes.. Silly me.

And now I'm wondering if I should stop this post now and get my things ready so I can maybe sleep over at Cristina's. But I'm feeling really lazy. I'll post some more in a few days when I don't have much. Or rather... anything to do. Because I don't have much to do, yet I have something to do. So yeah.

I miss my blog ;_; Oh, and I've gotten rid of my cold! YAY! And more thing--> I saw a awesome movie called Almost Famous, and it's just so cool and sweet and gaah I loved it. So funny too. You must watch it!

I suck at titles~

I'm almost better. I'm getting there, but I'm not totally cured. This bug that I've got has been really resistant, seeing that I've been sick since... well, for 2 weeks? Almost that.

It's been rainy, cold and wet these past few days. I forget that Salvador is a city where it can rain once in a while, and that's why it's so green, after all. While Fortaleza was in a place where it only rained during one time in the year.

As usual, during vacation I get back to working on "projects" that I seem to adore to neglect during the year. One example is a site that I'm making in tribute to a manga character, called Shin, from a manga called NANA-- which is by the way the most gorgeous, heartfelt, "emotional-high" lovely shoujo manga out there. Don't miss out!

So yeah, Shin's of course a pretty boy and I love him to death. You know how obsessions are! The tribute is called... wild horse. Cheesy, yes, but I love the fact that it's different.


Anyway, if you'd like to take a peek at, well, the "coming soon" sign I made for it, you can go here. You might not see the image at all though, 'cause I tried uploading and seeing it online now and it just won't show its face. But maybe it's just my goofy browser that's being stubborn. So take a look if ya like.

wind wakery

I passed, but I have a cold to deal with. t_t I'm gonna play Wind Waker now....

PMS?

My dad just told me to go to sleep. I'm not surprised, since it's one of the first times I'm ready for bed early. I mean, at 10PM. And I have my last test tomorrow, which'll start at 10AM. So I'll have to get up early anyway.

But I just want to leave something here. I've been strange lately. Maybe it's because it's the end of the year and I'm tired of school, yet I've been excessively irritable and distant lately with my friends. Today Cristina mentioned to me that Marina thinks I simply don't talk to her anymore. Which isn't entirely wrong, but it's not like I refrained from talking to her completly, it's just-- I don't know why-- but I feel drained out, with no patience leftover. And Marina's the type of person, with which you need a lot of patience, to not get easily annoyed with. I really like Marina, but I'm also a little sick of... well, instead of saying her, I'll just say "it all". Sounds nicer.

Maybe I'm exagerating. I'll apologize and explain to her that I've been very moody lately and that it has nothing to do with her, it's just me and well.. me only. I don't know why I'm so irritable, but the most normal things bug the hell out of me these past few weeks and now I just don't even join in any conversations and sort of avoid joining in as well. Hopefully once vacation is in full go, I'll chill a little more.

On friday I'll receive my report-card!

Halloween tag (latelate)

I should be in bed, but now that I feel hyped 'cause Paula starting to jabber about the possibility of visiting during vacation(as if it were possible) and now I'm all giddy at the thought of it. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa~~

But anyway, since Chai tagged, and I've been such a lame blogger, emailer, commenter, and replier lately, I owe a lot to Chai. So here 'goes:

1) What were your favorite games to play when you were a kid? Do you remember the rules? Share them here (bored kids grounded from video games will thank you):
I remember MONOPOLY and Go Fish. And yes, as old as Go Fish is, I don't actually remember how to play it anymore. All I remember is the "go fish" line, and laughing when someone else that wasn't me, grumbled and pouted in frustration-- like haha, you don't have the winning cards hahaha! Of course I was too spacy even then to actually win a game, I think.

2) Did you go trick-or-treating when you were a kid? What was your favorite costume ever?
Yes I DID. I had a HUGE sweet tooth back then. Sure, I wasn't a fan of the Halloween spirit, like the crazy hyped-screaming-teenagers running in the streets in masks, laughing like idiots, creeped the hell of me, but I loved the candy part. The candy was the REWARD from all the STRESS of going out in the DARK. Because I was a wuss back then.

So yeah, the candy rocked. I loved Toostie Rolls!! They were my favorite. ;-; I miss them.

Costume wise, hmmm. One I remember being happy about was being dressed up as a genie... Or was it Jasmine? All I know is that I was a Disney buff, especially for Aladdin, and the first and very last time I tried being witch failed terribly because everybody kept complaining about my homemade broom that was poking them. Haha. It was embarrassing back then but now it's just plain funny to remember.

4) Do you remember any silly or gross songs or rhymes from your childhood (like, "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts")? Share them with us!
No. I don't...

5) What is your favorite Halloween memory?
Coming back with a big bag of candy... I don't remember having a specific favorite memory.

6) What goodies do you hope to find in your treat bag this Halloween?
I didn't have Halloween this year. I mean, sure I played a couple games in English class, but I was so tired by the end of the day, I didn't really feel enthusiastic about it.

Listening to: "If You Can Afford Me" - Kate Perry

Finally I'm managing to get my studying schedule back on track. That is.. at least I'm starting to get my show together, trying to be more organized again. I just hope I can do it all in time to pass this year, with no extra classes in December. I want early vacation!

Cristina's birthday was yesterday, so after school I, her, and some other friends went to eat out at a restaurant. We were going to go with a bus all the way, but we took the wrong one, and had to get off-- we walked the rest of the way there. For nearly 40 minutes. Imagine a about 6 people with backpacks walking at night in the streets. I wasn't really nervous or scared only because there was at least one guy, Eduardo, there. Davi doesn't count, because I don't think he'd be reliable in a tough situation. So yeah-- 2 guys and 3 girls. Later to be meeting up with Marina's boyfriend. All in all, it was fun. The only down side is that my dish took ages because they burnt it the first time, and since I was stubborn and wanted the same dish, waited for the next one to be made, which took even longer than what I was told.

I'm quite happy, now that I've made myself more physiqued to study... I think that's what has been throwing me off these past few weeks, or last two months even.

I don't know if I should be happy or sad to have not much to talk about (new things, that is).
...

french-fries yummy

My moment of creativity is either now or never. I mean… I’m either going to post now or only a week later. That’s just my pattern lately. My pattern of thought, that is… since I haven’t posted in ages, actually.

Since I seem to always start with school—I’m not going to this time. Yes, I said the word, but the rest of that I can mention at the end, right? Right.

So. It’s nearly 11PM and I hope I can make myself wake up relatively early so that I can get a quick start at studying for my Geography test coming this Tuesday. I must get myself enthusiastic studying again. My grades went a little down hill these past few months. I think my last Geography test was my best grade in comparison to my other grades as of late.

I don’t understand why I manage to do so well on the Geography tests. Because even when I study for it all, when I’m reading the stuff in front of me, I barely understand half of it. I go like—“ Huh? What? Wait, I have to read that again.“ And so I read the same paragraph 3 times.

I like Geography. I just don’t like studying it. And once it gets into day-to-day politics I cringe. I know it’s good to know about the recent happenings, but it all gets so much more complicated for my wee little brain.

Yes, only I can call my brain “wee”. On my blog… If someone else called my brain small I’d be really annoyed. But that’s just me and my lack of knowing how to deal with criticism.

OK. I ended up talking about school first, in the end. My last few blog posts have obtained a style where I cannot deny my thoughts anymore. As hard as I try to not mention something, I mention it anyway. Maybe this is a sign I’m maturing? Or maybe I’m more relaxed here…

I barely ate anything today. I’m starting to feel a subtle heaviness in my eyes. Very subtle, but it’s there. Yet I will not go yet!

I have been not drawing much. …Just the regular doodle-faces-and-eyes-on-the-side-of-my-notebook-thing. I have not written anything. I also haven’t replied to Chai’s Maugre e-mail. OMG!

Oh yes. It’s been a month and maybe a week or two since I cut my hair. Real short. I love it. Short hair is just plain better for me.

‘Been going out a lot during the weekends. Last weekend I slept over at Marina’s place, after going to an anime convention with her, Cristina and friends. I was only able to buy three mangas. I didn’t have the courage to spend over R$20. I also only saw Ariel when he was already on his way off! This is the 2nd time this has happened to me.

And every time I always forget to say his name when I say hello. I just end up saying hello. Whereas Cristina has had the luck of saying hello to him, with his name attached, and in return, has received a smile as well. I want a smile too, darn it! It has happened already 2 times. Hopefully next time I can do something that’ll give me a smile as well…

You have no idea how adorable and gorgeous he looks when he smiles. With a normal expression, or in other words, a straight face, he looks a bit spacey, in a cute adorable way, but when he smiles, it’s beautiful. Of course I think like this because I’m stuck having a crush on him. Otherwise he ain’t that good-looking.

This is random, but have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Well, I have. Two weeks ago, in a freezing cold pool. I didn’t want to. But the girls dragged me into the pool and took away anything that covered me. At first I was frikkin’ embarrassed. Yet in the end, I had a lot of fun. Thank goodness no one else was home other than the maid.

This was at Ariel’s house, btw. Yes—he has a sister, you see. And she was the only one at home once her parents and her 3 bothers went out, and since she didn’t want us to go home—me, Cristina, Marina, Mariana, and herself made French-fries and chocolate, while some talked about the crazy stories or problems in their life. The French-fries were yummy.

I should go to bed. Nearly 11:30 PM.
I’ll talk more some other time! Tootles.

Kooky.

Listening to: "Outta My Head" - Ashlee Simpson

Okay, so I was little kooky that Sunday. But I'm fine now. I'm sane. Sort of. I still have a huge crush on him, I still think about him, and I've already looked at the 2 pictures I have of him more than 5 times already.

Thankfully my dad is a genius and managed to make me feel better about it, saying that I should just go for it and try and get to know him better anyways. Which is what some other of my friends told me, among others who said to just move on-- but my dad is just perfect with words, so he sounded more reassuring. He even understood me when I said I thought I saw two different personalities-- one at the party and one at the mall.

The one at the mall seemed normal, friendly, shy, and just plain adorable. The guy at the party was plain intimidating. And my dad managed to finish the "intimidating" part without me even saying it! It was then that I realized how nervous and nervous+scared I was about going up to him and even pondering the possibility of talking to him. I did eventually, which didn't work out as I hoped, but I'm over that part.

I seriously have never had such a big crush on someone. I have only seen him 3 times. You know what 3 times is?! Three times...!
...Can't wait to see him again though. But I'm afraid that once I do I'll be without words, haha.

I have already told this story to so many people that attempting to talk about it now seems out of the question at the moment. I only get annoyed and frustrated and stupidly ANNOYED with myself if I do. And yes this blog serves as a place to let out my feelings, but the atmosphere today just doesn't help.

I have a cold. It cloudy and cold. I still think the guy's gorgeous even after I find out now that he's at least not interested anymore and that he might just be a bit too spoiled and maybe a tad arrogant. But maybe I'm just thinking that because I feel that my ego was injured and well... it sucks to like a guy that's daddy little boy and plenty of girl are after him and he might have someone he likes and yeah.

Whatever.
So is life.

I'm just a silly 17 year-old mopping about crushes, those things I never really have. And IT SUCKS AT THE MOMENT.
I told myself and Cristina that I may try to at least be friends. But right now I don't feel like seeing him, even though he lives so close by-- up to the point where I didn't want to tag along with Marina and her boyfriend Yuki/Ozzy, to the beach to meet up with the gang, mostly because I'm sick.

She said she'd call me back when they left the beach. They probably already have. And I would like to hang out with her, but I'm reluctant and therefore I prefer not to call and see what's up.

Why do I have to be such a goof ball-drama queen in my blog when thing's aren't that great?
Anyway, I'm being immature, I know. But I am still sulky about it. I need something to distract myself. The problem is that I passed the last 2 weeks thinking constantly about the dude. And I still do. With some bitterness, at the moment, lol, but it'll pass. I am to be friends with him at least. I just have to get myself to gather the courage.

No sicky!!

I cannot get sick!!!111
Not now.
No.
PLEASE. .-.

Lol. I'm going to so laugh at this post later.

additional notes of that saturday

I forgot to mention that on the same day I was invited to his birthday. Without me realizing it HAHA. But yeah, I found out officially what the date was referring to on Monday. Which is the Saturday.

... Apprehensive and nervous is least I can say. I still haven't bought a present.

The story behind the whole "I only realized he was talking to me at the last moment" is a funny one, but I don't have the time to tell it now.

I gotta have lunch and then go to school. Taking a mini-school bus now. With a bunch of 6 and 7 years olds....

I can't deal with it very well just yet.

I can't stand these conversations. I mean, obviously I'm going to feel awkward if my mom calls me and starts crying a few minutes later, which will then make me cry. And then she starts asking me why I'm so odd with her-- claiming that she senses resentment from me.

How the hell am I supposed to act? I obviously try to act as calm as possible. And then she asks me if I'm alright-- like what's wrong-- when she noticed I'm crying. I say I'm FINE, darn it. Just fine. Can I not cry without someone insisting on getting a straight and immediate explanation? If she did anymore I'd only get worse and now I'm just annoyed.

My dad says not to make such a big deal about it. I'm just not going to think about it anymore today. I need to study for my upcoming tests. I also want to do something with my Shin tribute-- so yeah.

I am goin' now just to leave this little unexplained burst of frustration.
What's a blog for?

Disoriented? (I have moved to a new house as well!)

This window of my browser has been open since before yesterday. But I kept on putting it off. Posting on my blog, that is. But since I'm alone tonight, I guess I feel more at ease to type away.

To put it bluntly I feel silly for feeling the way I am feeling. I’m interested in one of Marina’s friends, even though I am aware that 2 other friends of hers may like me—or so she claims.

Not that there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s just now that she knows I can already feel the pressure. She’s just trying to be helpful when she tells me “Sanji, he’s shy, so if you want to get to know him you gotta be with him and make conversation. “

I noticed he wasn’t the most talkative—but that doesn’t help. Like, if everything depends on my actions I feel like I’m doomed. This is going to take a long time to progress. Simple as that.

Besides I barely got to know him. I met him once, which was when I thought he was cute, then I hadn’t seen him ever since, ‘til today. That is after Adrianna spilled the beans to her in my place. I swear, she did it on her own behalf. I didn’t ask her to.

And I still think he’s soo cute! I was worried I got the wrong impression, which can be my “luck” sometimes when I see some guy from a distance or for the first time. The 1st impression may be refreshing and therefore pleasing, but I can be mistaken when seeing the person for a second time. Like where did I get that idea in my head? How disappointing.

But I was pleasantly surprised to see him today—at the mall with Marina, and Co. (her other friends etc) in addition to Cristina and her little sis being there. What I mean is that I wasn’t bringing my hopes up in to him coming, or him being able to see the movie with us—up to the point where I made an extra effort to get ready and do the whole foundation deal (I normally just use simple make-up) which I never use because I normally think it’s too much trouble and I was thinking to myself: And if I did all this for nothing and he isn’t there?

But he was there, so that was cool. I didn’t really talk to him directly so much--mostly in a group. I did ask him a couple questions here and there, mostly about what he mostly talked about--- which was school. (He’s in his last year of high school, so he has more pressure I guess ) He seems like a pretty normal guy, which I don’t really mind. I just think he’s adorable! Or at least looks so be so.

Anyway… Marina is so blunt. I accepted the offer of taking a ride with the 3 brothers (Bruno, Ilan and Ariel ) in order to hang around a bit longer. But Marina wanted us to stay longer. Several times they said they should leave, but she kept on insisting, up to the point where I only left with them around 9 PM.

But as I was saying… Marina wasn’t made to be indirect, or discreet. She tries—but she’s totally being blunt. She was trying to convince the brothers to stay longer, and in trying so she said: “Ariel, come on~ Stay longer. This way you can get to know other people.”

As she said other people, I was close by to her, and she used her hip to nudge me. And she did this with that huge smile of hers. I felt so goofy—she was being so obvious. She even tried to make sit on his lap. She was all: "Sit, sanji, sit!!" But I was all no way. That would be like a public confession!

She even told me that he’s interested. I was like—what?! What do you mean interested? Interested in what? I honestly wasn’t sure if I had heard her right. But then she got all incredulous and stomped away to the manga section in the bookstore that we were all in. I asked again, asking What do you mean? How?!—but somehow she didn’t give me a straight answer that I could understand. Or at least before I could insist on one she distracted me with something else. Darn it.

I have suspicions she might have said to make me bolder or something. I don’t know. *pouts * I always doubt things, that’s my problem. I rarely approach something with full certainty.

So basically, summarizing it all in a nutshell, I went out with Marina and friends to the movies (which btw wasn’t that good as I expected. It was quite boring. The only good thing was having Jude Law and Natalie Portman in it, plus an artistic filming style. But other than that the movie was a bloop) and afterwards we walked around, eventually sitting at one of the main verandas/balconies the mall has.

I swear, whenever I see Natalie Portman I HAVE to remember my sister. It’s scary. Oh, and the movie was “My Blueberry Nights.

Jude Law was gorgeous as always. <3

True Tears

Usually I firstly go by looks when it comes to anime. I tend to be picky and not pay attention to the typical "big-eyed- small mouths-disproportional heads" type. Because they tend to have either really pointless story-lines, going-no-where-comedies, or the humor is mostly all about panty-shots. Of course not all anime in that style are like that, but it's a lot of what I find. So normally I stay away from those and stick to the ones which at least have a different style, with a more realistic touch.

But True Tears really caught me by surprise.

I first decided to take a look at because it was being mentioned in a lot of blogs. Secondly, I liked the pace of the story. It wasn't too fast nor was it too slow. Although, the story itself isn't that interesting (the first 2 episodes seem to be a bit boring at first). It tells the story nicely, as each character goes through much development-- and might I say a lot of emotions during 13 episodes!

The animation is simple but swift when needed and the voice-acting shines at its most touching moments. I found myself extremely touched when the main protagonist Shini'chiro's voice starts to weaken as he starts to cry, all the while singing a seemingly childish song. I seriously wanted to cry with him! I could feel the lump in my throat already.

And like most-- a lot of stories rarely give you a satifactory ending, but True Tears almost did. ALMOST. I was just unhappy about who Shini'chiro ended up with. I still felt very sympathetic about his choice regardless.

Yes, I will not tell you the story or give you a summary. Because if I do, you most likely won't watch it, 'cause the story is that simple. But the characters are so well acted that you forget that part, and the story suddenly becomes so suspensful as you wait for what'll happen next. All I'll say is that it is a drama-romance.

True Tears was a great watch. It touched me at the last episode, (yeah, I'm a softie anyway) and even left me a bit sad even after having finished it nearly an hour earlier. But despite that, I really loved it.

My only real complaint is about the opening and endings songs. I couldn't warm up to them. But the music otherwise, throughout the anime, was very well done. That is, it all seemed to fit at the right moment.

Lately I've had the pleasure of finding many great animes to watch! <3 I reccommend this one to you!

School starting again

I'm surprised to say this... but I am relieved that classes are back. I felt really lonely for the most part of vacation. Now I'm back in school, seeing friends and classmates nearly everyday, and now I even have Christina with me! So things are more interesting. Though I have to admit that this week was surreal. It didn't feel like a regular school week... since it started only on Tuesday. But seriously, today didn't even feel like Friday. Weird.

I'm also worried a little that Marina doesn't seem to like Christina 'cause she's jealous or something? o_o; It's good and bad.

I'm sleepy, I need to wash my face. x_x

VENTING IS POINTLESS

I came here to vent out my frustration... I am still frustrated-- and annoyed. But I almost think there's no point in venting it all out in the first place, because I just get more annoyed about it. So never mind that.

And yeah!! This is what my blog is for, right? Yet there's no way I'm going to talk about it, because there's no point. I just get more annoyed about it as I think about it. After all, I'm the one who made my dad angry in the first place. I'm the one at fault.

But I apologized for being the butt-head. He called me geeky and square, and deep down, I admit to that. BUT STILL, why does he have to continue to give me what seems to be the cold shoulder? I'm aware that he isn't at his best today. Yet I can't get over the fact that this whole day nearly he has barely said a word to me. And that REALLY SUCKS when he's the only other person at home and I just so happen to love my dad very much. It sucks because I hate being ignored by him. It sucks because when he is not in a good mood, I feel intimidated to even say much to him.

You can argue that, yes, if I wanted to talk to him so much I could just come up with some way to start a conversation. But it isn't that easy. Seriously, sometimes my dad can be so scary.

All in all, I was just really annoyed when I was eating my soup in his room (because that's what we normally do when we eat together) and he was on his computer the whole time, with his back facing me, basically completely ignoring me. Yeah, I didn't say anything. But what can I say? I don't know what to say. I'm afraid that if I say anything the least bit cheerful or whatever, I'll simply get no real response, or no good response. Like you know when you start your convo with a question, and then the person answers and then you go "Oh, cool." or "I see,"--- then total silence. This is what I'm dealing with!

Which is fine, HEY-- I DESERVE IT I GUESS. Besides, he has every right to be in a bad mood if he wants to be. For all I know, he has worked hard enough to need a break. So yeah, fine. But it darn bugs the hell out of me anyway. Like, why am I never mad enough or entitled enough to be mad at my dad? (Not that I should want that... )

Okay, so that sounded really childish right now... Ignore that if you like.

Most of the time when I am annoyed with something my dad has said, I tend to shrug it off eventually because what he says ends up being true, so I have no real way to argue and well-- it ends up being pointless. Like, why bother bringing past things up again?

But now I'm REALLY annoyed. I may have no right to be, but I am. I probably should be the one comforting my dad, or trying to make him cheerful. But I don't think that's his problem. His problem today is with me, I think. He laughs about stuff he's read on the internet, but hasn't once smiled at me. WHICH IS FINE, heck, I don't care (liar).

GAAAH. I'm such a wuss. I can't stand it.

Mood swings

Listening to: “Wonderful Tonight” – Michael Bublé feat. Ivan Lins

Wow. Time flies, huh? It’s scary.

Where shall I start? Well, vacation is coming up. No, wait. Let me rephrase that:
“Vacation” starts on the 20th. It ends in less than a month.

Yeah, big deal, right? It’s better than nothing. But I’ll hopefully be moving into my official home during this time—so in other words it won’t be total relaxation.

Then again, since when is life relaxing? Just by doing nothing, it comes up with something. Something to get you worked up about or stressed out about or sad about.. or happy about. That’s life.

Lately I have had the pleasure of tasting those famous mood-swings teenagers are so known to have. Mine mostly seem to come during the night, before I go to bed. I start to feel mopey and miserable. But there have been times where I simply feel sad for no reason whatsoever-- all of a sudden, it comes without any warning.

And I all I want is a hug, a word of reassurance, a shoulder to cry on. But what’s the point of crying if there’s no reason to cry?

My life is a good one. Sure, there’s always room to improve, but I should have no real big reason to be complaining…

I’m not particulary saddy-feelining tonight, thankfully. But if I think too much on the subject, then I will become so. So--! Let’s change the subject!

Hmmm… I am SO glad this semester is ending. I’m also happy to say I’ve made many more friends at this school than in last year’s. The people here in Bahia (which is a different state all together) are much more warm and open, it seems. It makes things easier.

Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about much else. Or rather, I would if I could— and I can, but I shouldn’t—since it’s really late.
.. So good night then!

BEST NEWS EVER!!

One of my best friends, Cristina, is going to move to Salvador-- the very city I am living in-- in July!!! She's also gonna be here for a week starting this Saturday! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

Edit: May 14th '08 The funny thing is that I can't stop thinking about it ever since she talked to me about it-- the idea of it is making me happy but it's also making me nervous as well.

We shall haunt you.

I did not study a THING today.

After nearly not making it to one of the very last theatre meetings at school this morning (because they have this stupid rule that you can only be 6 minutes late max-- but I managed to slip in anyway), I took a bus with Adrianna and her brother to their house, with the plan that we'd study Math later in the afternoon with Lorena, for the upcoming test on Tuesday. Yet not only did Lorena come late, we could not seem to concentrate at first. Then, when we went up to her apartment to get a snack (popcorn) and we came back down to the porch at the entrance of the building, the six 7 year-olds playing around there feasted their greedy eyes on our popcorn bag and demanded some!

So we gave them some. But then they went totally BESERK and demanded more and more, until they started to jump on top of us, trying to grab the bag from our lifted arm. At one point I had the bag in my hand, since I was the tallest, so I though "HAH, you little brats won't get it now-- >;D!!" Little did I know they were darn determined, and I thought I was going to fall on the floor. We even went to the lengths of possibly going into the elevator and going back to her apartment, but NO. They just HAD to follow and jump like maniacs. I swear, those kids must have been seriously high on something.

So as you must have imagined, we eventually had to surrender to their insanity (just to get the idea, they even went to eat bits of popcorn that fell on the floor!)-- they got their popcorn and we got our peace to study. That is what we thought the deal was.

Oh, no. We were SO wrong! A few minutes later they started talking to us again (if you call speaking unnecessarily loud "talking"), insisting that they pester us with their odd jokes. Like they even had their own collection of dirty jokes-- in other words, about sex. It makes me realize how innocent my youth at that age was. o_o I mean, what happened to parental control?

So yeah. They went on about stuff-- pure nonsense. (Did I mention one boy was licking the insides of the popcorn bag that I had PUT IN THE TRASH to get the darn SALT taste on his tongue?!) At some point, we even went into the parking lot to see if we could get some peace. But NO, man!!! They followed us there. Only 15 minutes later or so, they said good-bye ("good-bye drunk ladies." they said. I was about to say "Good-bye you stonies!").

After some talking (since we couldn't possibly study properly on a bench), we went back to that dreaded porch and thank god they were gone-- they went upstairs to there little mommies. I fear for those poor mothers. O_o;; Those kids were scary, man!

Then we dragged our conversation to teachers and such, and how Adrianna is infatuated with our History teacher. Lorena could not stop reminding how she really had some doubts about some linear systems... therefore we did study a little bit (I explained to both her and Adrianna the basics on how to do solve a system). If you call that studying.

Despite those facts, I had a lot of fun. We laughed a lot as wells-- and that's always a plus! Now I'm home and... well, I had this huge urge to post about today. Well, mostly about the crazy kids.

On another note:
March and April were just a while ago, and now we're already in May. My birthday is coming the Sunday after this one! Isn't it freaky how this year is flying by? Yup. It sure is. My vacation starts already in the middle of next month! (thank goodness!)

Because quizzes are just plain amusing.

Ramb

I didn't want to recieve just yet, my Chemistry test result, but I did anyway, this afternoon-- just like the rest of class. The grade wasn't good at all-- a 4,6. The average at my school is 6,0 and not 7,0, but in anyone's book-- 4,0 or 5,0 is already really lame. That's what you get when you only get half of the test right. Why did I have to mess up nonsense and forget some stupid detail?!, is what I can't help but think to myself. >_< Bleh.

Anyway, I'm not going to freak and go into a whole panic deal. There is simply no point. I guess I couldn't expect for me to have all good grades in the beginning , although I was hoping so. I'll just have to work hard these next few weeks to study a bit more. (As if I wasn't already studying a lot, right?)

Man, why is it so hot-- there's nearly no wind!~ I could close my door and my window to turn on the air-conditioning but if I did that, the door would block some of my connection to the internet .. ;__; Why, you ask? It's complicated. But that is the condition for it working.

Yeah, I'm rambling.... I wanted to post something, but I can't seem to find something that I really want to talk about. Talking about my daily life isn't always that interesting... So I have a question: What would you like me to talk about next time I post?

"Boom-I-am-not-gone!!"

I had decided that after watching Gattica with my dad, I’d continue studying the rest of Chemistry. But I really don’t want to. I mean, seriously. I have that feeling of distaste in my stomach right now, at just of the thought of it.

Then again, it’s not Chemistry’s fault. I have nothing against it. I just don’t feel like studying period. I want a break, you know? This studying every weekend for the tests on Tuesday gets tiring. So I’ll try my best to go to bed relativaly early tonight, and wake up around 6AM to get a fresh start and finish whatever that’s left.

Yes, that’s what I will do. A sigh of relief is due!

Now on to another subject. ”Gattica.” Great movie. I mean, come on—what movie isn’t great with Jude Law in it? My only complaint about the movie is that the very Jude, the very character he plays that I came to like so much, leaves far too quickly. Sure, there was a reason behind it and all—but still! Why do all my favorite characters have to go off somehow and go “boom-I-am-gone!”, just like that? Why? I wanted to have that feeling that they could exist a bit longer… It’s a very frustrating reality if otherwise so.

…In any case—watch the movie if you haven’t. Especially if you want a good story + the gorgeous bonus Jude Law. What could be better, really? (Yeah, I like Matthew McConaughey too. But Jude Law has some magic going on that’s a bit different.)

Anyhow, my day was fairly good. I got a pleasant surprise when I got a call from Cristina on my cellphone. We only talked for a couple minutes, but it was awesome nonetheless. I miss her lately. And all of my friends from Fortaleza. It’s amazing how much that phrase is true:

”Absence makes the heart fonder.”

I also managed to draw something different. See, I owe a drawing to my sister in Germany. Her birthday was in Febuarary and when I asked her what she wanted as a present, she said "a drawing from you." I mentioned the fact that it'll take a while to get there by mail, but she was all "Even so, I want the real thing. Even if it takes 3 months." Nearly three months have passed... But it's only because I can't seem to decide what to draw for her, and aside from that, I have been busy with school. So in a nutshell, I haven't a decent drawing for her yet. But I do have some drawing to show here, or on my other blog. Not now, but sometime when I get myself to post them.

But I can say that I do have some doodles I did on my tablet to show! I guess I'll post it here and possibly on my other blog too. So here it goes (mind you, some of these were done when I was desperately trying to entertain myself.)





This last drawing is a character of mine! Her name is cheesily "Silere." It means "silence" in Latin--since she's mute. This is the character that had originally jumped off a cliff (does it ring a bell, Chai?) This is one of her many thoughtful moments.

Oh, and would you do me the pleasure of checking out my domain?. It's not officially online and done, but I changed the "coming soon" sign, lol. I find it terribly cute. <3

In a bubble

My life, I could say… in a bubble, at the moment, is:
• School. So far, I have gotten good grades on most of my tests. Just today I found out I got a 10 on my History test. Which is wow in my opinion! I have never gotten a full ten before. O_O

• I miss my friends from Fortaleza—yet I have made some friends at my new school already, luckily. Maybe I’ll show some pictures soon, when I have one of everybody.

• ‘Still don’t have a fixed place. In other words, I’m still in the same little duplex/house… We’re still looking for a place.

• Studying in the afternoon is also quite crazy at times, I have to admit. Seriously. But I’ve gotten use to it I think.

… On other news? I have been mostly using my weekends to goof off reading comics when I can (Vampire Knight and Yakitate Japan!! Oh, and can’t forget Ouran!)—otherwise I’m studying for the weekly tests.

Grammar sucks, by the way. T_T

My History teacher rocks. He is SO hilarious. And I am not being sarcastic—serious—he is too funny. I nearly cry at every class of his.

I want to say that I have been working hard on my domain, and on my stories, but that would be a lie. A small lie, but a lie nonetheless. So let’s not be in denial here! I have been working on it—sort of. But not really. After the 1st two weeks of school, I haven’t really sat down to do anything on it.

So yeah, I suck when it comes to keeping up with my own little goals. It figures. v_v

As you can see I am in the mood for silly “faces”. ‘Dunno why. I’m going to make this end here—in 8 minutes it will be 11 o’clock and I have to wake up at 7AM at least, since I have P.E. (volleyball) tomorrow, which is in the morning. So until next time, this is all the info you get.

>__> Sorry…

What a movie.

If you haven't watched "Pearl Harbor", directed by Michael Bay, you must now. ASAP! I mean seriously-- it's a masterpiece. There's only so many movies that can move you so much, and this is one of them that even brought me to tears.

Whack-o dream.

I just had this whacky dream. At first, I dreamt about three women, some younger or older than the other, who supposed they all were pregnant. It turned out only the oldest was. Then my dream switched to this story of the oldest woman, who was officially pregnant, proposing to the man she loved in a room full of drifting light purple daisies, with violet wine glasses scattered on a brown patio floor. They both seemed terribly happy, but they both only smiled at each-other. The dream seemed to end, I thought, at that point, but for some reason it took a strange turn.

Now the happy couple was dancing in what seemed to be an empty ballroom (or maybe it was one of those things where all they could see were themselves dancing) -- they both wore fancy, regal-like clothing. The lady wore a white-sprinkled with gold, while the man wore a navy blue. Things like gold dust seemed to be drifting around the place.

Then, all of a sudden, it seemed like the "fast-forward" button was pressed. The man the woman loved was in front a humungo old mansion, in a cloudy fall setting. Everything seemed somber as he walked into the building. The mansion was quite empty and some parts that seemed unused were a bit rundown. I find out later (or rather, a couple seconds later, I suppose) that this man has a child, a bratty 11 or 12 year-old who's constantly complaining to her father about his lack of action. This girl also has a ridiculous amount of toys, like Barbies and Polly Pocket's, but they're all untouched, still in their plastic case, stacked into shelfs.

Then there comes another man who seems to have done a deal between the first and they exchange cold looks between eachother, although the 2nd man shows off a smirk on and off, finding this amusing.( He also seems to be quite the womanizer, constantly seen with some other lady. )

Like most of my dreams, they tend to be unexplained (I guess all dreams are like that, yes?), and so the next scene came quickly and had no real explanation as to how it got there..

The 12 year-old girl was scared and frantic, yet again complaing about dad's behavior. Her father was sulking in a room, claiming he could do nothing about the situation. The 2nd man was searching the many rooms with what looked something like a rifle. There was some kind of explosion, I guess, and then the sulky man was somewhere else, in what seemed to be a mix of a car fair and some science fair?

And from that point I woke up. o_o
I haven't had such a long-told dream before. Most of my dreams are just odd scenes-- fragments and unrelated.

Just one more thing... (27th of Jan)

I forgot to mention this before, but our next door neighbor is an american!

Just this morning, though, after eating breakfast on the “porch” (that looks out to the yard), he overheard us talking as he was going out with his girlfriend—so before he left, he decided to take the chance and strike a conversation and introduce himself and his girlfriend. It was so cool!!

Not that I said much—mostly my dad was talking—but it was so cool! I miss americans, you see. So having one so close is so cool.

Ahem. His name is Tom, if my memory is correct—and his girlfriend (who is Brazilian) is Silvia. But I might just have to ask again next time.

Tom is teaches at an international school out of the city. He said he has lived here for 5 months so far, at the duplex next to us. We’re only staying for 2 months, though, until we find a permanent place… But he was all: “Neighbors for 2 months at least!” He said he’s from Wisconsin, and lived a bit in San Diego as well.

Sadly they were both wearing sunglasses. I don’t like it when people wear sunglasses while having a conversation with another person. It’s off putting to me, because it’s as if you can’t see their reaction, as if behind some mysterious mask—which is okay—but it makes me even more nervous than I already normally ‘am sometimes when talking to people.

Tom’s girlfriend even invited me along with them to go to the beach, but my dad and myself have some plans to go to do some errands… I felt bad saying no, but it would have been akward if I had went with them just now, either way.

Now that my giddy-ness has slightly weared off, I think I shall go play some KH: Chains of Memories. I’m in the land of Agrabah…and I will have to battle against the annoying Jafar. Aladdin was my favorite of all Disney tales—and it still has some sweet memories to me. ( I even own the movie “Aladdin & the 10,000 thieves” (or something like that.) on video cassete still, lol.)

This is another reason why Kingdom Hearts is so awesome. You get to almost re-live your childhood, if you happened to be a fan of Disney at the time. It’s so cute. <3 *has been acting like such a kid lately*

…Maybe I’ll have to go shopping already this morning. (Actually it’s nearly noon!) So.. yeah—I’m off!

I'm BACK.

--> Was written on the 26th of Jan, 10:30PM <---
I’m back, alive and well, but just a bit disoriented… my brain’s map may be out of whack for a bit. Yet here I am.

These past 2 weeks have been stressful. The 1st week was all packing, packing, and more packing, plus staying at a hotel for a few days, while finishing some final rental bills with the apartment. In other words, we were postponed for a few days. We wanted to travel on the 15th or 16th, but we only got out of the city of Fortaleza and on to the highway by noon, on the 18th, which means Friday.

It was a long drive. The first day wasn’t so bad, and actually it was kind of fun, despite the fact that my iPod Shuffle had no battery juice by the time we were on the road and the car was pretty stuffed with… well, stuff. We got at a hotel by the highway, around 6PM half way our route, and it was all find and dandy. The second day was a bit more tiring, and even though our goal was to arrive in Salvador at the latest 6PM the same day, by the time we were close by the biggest town from Salvador, my dad was getting impatient, stressed out, and moody. I was also a bit cranky—so we decided to stay in a hotel room there, and finally on Sunday, around 11:30AM we arrived in Salvador. Not necessarily in the main part of the city, but in the outskirts, so to speak.

It’s a beach town called Itapuã. There’s the beach, the highway lanes across the shore going to the main city, the town square, two mini malls, and then there’s the residential areas, and one fancy hotel. Just a bunch of expensive houses in little neighborhoods... Our place at the moment is a small duplex, situated in a closed development called “Pedra do Sal” (or so I think) and in that development there is of course, houses, yes, but also a small condominium where 10 duplexes are. We are in Mr. #9.

The neighborhood is very pretty, lots of plants and trees—plus the duplex next doors to ours is owner of tons of cats, plus one dog—and the funny thing is, is that on our first 2 days or so here, the cats literally came in the house a couple times to explore, if you just happened to leave any doors opens for them to get in. They’re darn curious, those guys. One time I was even watching a movie with my dad’s laptop with him, and all of a sudden my dad heaves a sigh, saying he thought he was seeing things when he saw one of the cats right next to the bed in his room—we were watching “A Beautiful Mind”. (Great movie btw!) …Sadly, so far I’ve only managed to pet one cat. It’s a bushy orange one, who seems to be the only one that’ll let me pet it—the other ones just shy away if you get too close.

Slowly but surely we have accomplished some things this week. In a matter of 2 or 3 days we got a phone line--- which was a pain in the rear to call for, just so you know, especially on a pay phone! We have ordered internet and cable TV a couple days ago as well, but it might just be a while till we get it. I’ll only have an answer on Monday.

On Wednesday, the moving company came here to drop off some boxes. They assumed they were to leave the whole darn load that came from Fortaleza, but we insisted it was a specific amount of boxes, with labels, and they just looked dumbstruck, saying nobody informed them of it (it figures)--- but anyway, it all worked out okay. They just had to go through the trouble of taking some things out of the truck to get some things we wanted out…

Did I mention that there’s a small yard and a mini pool? I went in there for the 1st time this morning, because it was too bloody hot today. Not to mention always since we got here.

Anyway, forgive me if I’m rambling a bit!

My room’s a mess, to say the least. Or maybe not—it’s simply a bit messy, untidy so to speak. Why? Because I’m too lazy to organize it and put things away and cleans closets and drawers, that’s why.. Which I know isn’t even an excuse, but nonetheless that’s the reason. I’ll get to it when I feel I can’t take it much longer, hehe.

Luckily, though, my room is quite bright, and has a window—not looking out on the street, sadly, but it looks out onto the back side of the house, which is okay, even if I just see a wall and a small part of the parking lot. It’s still a large window with some trees in view. My dad has a nicer bedroom in that sense, and has the view of the yard outside.

(Btw, I’ll have pictures soon.)

What else? Oh yes—it’s all very strange and surreal. Being here, that is. Having crossed 2 states by to get to another. Having come here where I basically know nobody… But I’m getting use to it.

…I’m not sure if I should be anxious or apprehensive to start a new school year. I think I’m feeling a bit of both.

Until today, I haven’t used my own computer, or truly any computer--except for one time in a LAN house for a couple minutes—so to occupy myself, I have discovered the joys of playing with my long ignored Gameboy Advance. I’ve been playing 2 games at the moment, one being Final Fantasy Tactics Advance and the other being Kingdom Hearts: Chains of Memories. The addiction to FFT had awoken again, but the constant missions get tiring after a while, so I switched to KH: CM since I can’t play KH on my PS2 right now… Might I add that I have truly become a KH addict? I always had a liking towards it, but ever since I played non-stop with my friend Cristina, I have become quite attached. Seeing that it’ll be a while till I have my PS2 functioning again, so that I could maybe complete the game 100%, so I could see the last bit I missed when I left Cristina’s place, I have decided I might as well start playing the next one—which is Chain of Memories, a pre-sequel to the actual Kingdom Hearts, or in other words, a small introduction to what is to come in Kingdom Hearts 2. Anyway, all I can say is I have made myself like it—KH: Chain of Memories, that is, ‘cause the battle system is not my favorite—yet since I really want more KH I must play it, and slowly but sure I’m getting use to the system of fighting, which is based on using cards and stuff. It’s sort of complicated and a bit of a pain—so yeah, I’m not very fond of it. But the pixel art is ADORABLE, just so you know! (Because it’s a MUST know kind of thing, ya see.) Not to mention the animated character’s head in the speech bubbles—so very animated and lovely. <3

Ahem. Yes—so I’m becoming a GAME BOY Advance fan once again. Hurray. It took long enough for my lazy bum to get back to it. :D

Aside from playing games, I also have been brainstorming ideas for my stories, or at least some of them, and ‘have realized that drawing different characters and possible scenes, or at least trying to—is good for such brainstorming—and when I can, I shall take pictures of the drawings, or scan them in so I can show them to you~.

It’s 11:08PM on my clock. I must go to bed. This post won’t actually be posted tonight (Sat. Jan 26th), I’m afraid. Hopefully tomorrow! But I hope you have had fun reading my jumbo post. I have discovered that I can focus better on typing up something when I’m not listening to music. Which is kind of sad, but oh well. v_v fllong awaited emoticon face! <3

…But just so you know (or maybe you are too bored and can’t help but read this last paragraph, lol), my favorite song right now is “One More Time” by Daft Punk. Pure sweet dance music. It was made to lift up your spirits. <3

‘Good night! ;9

Possible Ouran spoilers (for those who haven't read the manga!)

I'm tired, really, I am. I should go to bed... and I will! But I just had to read the newest chapter of Ouran!!! It was already awesome before, but now that Haruhi is getting flustered when with Tamaki-- it is soo cute. Not only that, but Hikaru has also become a rival! <3

TOO CUTE OMG-ZIES!! <3

Hopefully temporary.

We'll be separated from large masses of water and land for a bit, but hopefully soon we will be holding hands once more.

Dreaming is a beautiful thing. Let's dream sweet ones!

Laughter and tears were soon felt as we spun for several minutes on those spinning cups. Butterflies were felt in my stomach, as I held the hand of Cristina's-- we almost went on it again.

We truly only realize how much we cherish something once we must part. I just hope this departure won't be too long!

Ignorance is bliss?

There are times when being oblivious is easier. Or at least it use to be-- or so are some children. They used to be. I used to be one, actually...

 But even if I want to sometimes be ignorant of the problems, it becomes even more difficult to ignore these things as you grow older. Plus, "becoming older" now makes you have reason on your side-- (or so we hope, yes?) -- yet that makes everything just a tad bit more complex and tedious. 

So if I want to ignore a problem, an issue, or a decision, I can't just leave it up to my parents anymore. My opinion has to make sense, I have to be aware of my surroundings and of the people around me-- because if I mess up-- it'll now be on my record of life, not my parents. 

Yes.... ignorance is bliss at times, but it continues to be ignorant. Knowing doesn't always help-- yet it is still knowledge. Let's face it. We'll never be satisfied.

Mopin' yo!

Sometimes you feel better after crying a bit. But there are times when I simply think it’s not worth crying, because I think I’ll only feel worse by letting myself cry. And yes, a lot of the times it really isn’t worth it. Why mope, right? But then there’s times where it’s almost inevitable.

I was reminded twice today that there is almost less than but a week left till I’m off to Salvador. It made me feel a bit down, to say the least.

But it only worsened when Paula had to go back home this evening, after having slept over for 2 nights. I wanted to cry, but I kept on thinking to myself --- it’s not worth it, afterall it won’t change anything.

Yet while I was saying good night to my dad, it just came trinkling down my face. What sucks about crying (aside from the plain act) though, is that the stupid sinus has to act up and make your nose all runny. It’s annoying, you know! Just when you get into the whole mood, you have to say – “Jeez, I gotta blow my nose, hold on a sec.”

Anyway—otherwise life is good. My dad’s a bit stressed from the move and from work, but it’s good. I’d like to spend more times with my friends, but I have to be considerate of my dad and help him.

I better stop here or else I’ll find myself mopey again!
See you...